Of results and university.

So, I abandoned this space for quite awhile. Hell, the last time I posted, I didn't even know what my future was going to be like (to be fair, I still don't, but at least it's a lot clearer than 2 months ago...). I would like to come up with a fantastic excuse as to why I didn't commit to blogging, but truth is, I've just been too lazy. There, the simple and painfully mundane truth.

The last time I blogged, though, I was musing a lot about my results and what the future holds in store for me. First things first, I did decently well for my A levels. It surpassed my expectations. I'll admit I had pretty low expectations of myself, not because I didn't trust in my ability, but because I was aware that my effort didn't warrant grades worth bragging about. I'm still aware, so I won't reveal my letter grades, but I got 83.75 ranking points out of a maximum 90 ranking points. If you take the A levels in Singapore, you would have a pretty good gauge of my letter grades because, well, there aren't that many permutations which would give you 83.75RP, but yes, it is pretty good and I cannot express how grateful I am to my teachers and my friends because they pushed me so much more than they had to, and they believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. It's amazingly cliche, but it matters a lot to have someone behind you when you're going through tough times (and trust me, A levels is tough). I couldn't possibly list them all down here, I won't even try because this post would end up becoming excruciatingly long, but you guys know who you are and you know I love you so much. :)

University-wise, I'm so amazingly blessed to have been accepted at all 3 local universities. NTU accepted me for Communication Studies, NUS accepted me for FASS, and believe it or not, SMU accepted me for Law. Yes, laaaaaaw. I can't even begin to express my absolute shock at being accepted by SMU Law, because sometimes, I just think it's a cruel joke the universe is playing on me. People who have known me since I was in primary school (surprisingly quite a few, people generally don't keep in contact with their primary school friends but I cling to them like a koala) would probably know law was my intended career path when I was young. But as I grew up, I started to realise I had a lot of interests elsewhere. I was great at literature, I absolutely loved history, I always kept close tabs on politics both domestically and internationally. My teacher introduced me to philosophy when I was 14 and I've devoured books by Plato, Aristotle, Marx, Nietzsche, just to name a few. I struggled a lot with economics in JC but I loved how applicable it was to the real world. So somewhere along the way, I stopped focusing so much on law and just went with the general flow of my education. When I was applying for SMU, I looked at the course choices and I thought, "Oh hell, let's just put law as my first choice, what are the odds that I'll get it with my grades anyway?"

Good odds, apparently, because I got a call from them confirming an interview and a written test.

The same day as my interview, I returned to Innova JC for their Musician's Club concert to support my dear juniors, Putera and Farhan, and coincidentally, I bumped into my Malay Language teacher while loitering outside the school hall and decided to tell her I had just attended an interview for SMU Law. I added that I wasn't even sure if I would choose it and she looks at me and goes, "But why, isn't it something you've always wanted to do?" I was dumbstruck, because, how in the world did she know something that I hadn't even considered or thought about for years? It turns out that I had thought about it when I was in J1, and I had told her that I wanted to be a lawyer. It's amazing how things like this can slip right out and it's even more amazing how easily I forgot.

I went home that day, and I thought long and hard (yes, yes, that's what she said) about my life, and I realised that law really was something I could see myself doing. I can't say that it's right for me, because life is such that you can never say such things with absolute certainty, but I know if I did choose to accept SMU's offer, I would throw myself wholeheartedly into the world of law without a second thought.

Then comes the what-if. There is a giant what-if hanging over my head at this moment, and it has a name: Yale-NUS. For my entire J2 year, Yale-NUS was all I talked about to my friends and my teachers. I had looked at their curriculum, hyperventilated over their sample syllabus, marvelled at the opportunities it offers its students. My teachers and friends, naturally, were just as excited about it as me, because they saw that YNC was what I was suited for, something that was right up my alley. However, when I received my grades, I didn't think they were good enough to apply to YNC. Singaporeans would know how crazily competitive YNC is, because there are only 150 spots for the first intake, and there are 3 rounds of admissions, which means that by the time I was holding my A level results in my hand, they had already accepted around half of that 150. I remember sitting in front of my civics tutor holding that paper and smiling to myself (because, hey, I didn't except those grades) until she decided to burst my happy bubble by going, "I assume you're not going to apply to Yale-NUS with these grades right?"

Honestly, I wasn't going to. But my friends pushed me to try, because in their words, "If you don't try, then, well, obviously you're not going to get it." So on a whim, I applied. Mr Billy Tan and Mrs Koh were more than obliging when I requested recommendations, and my friends happily helped me look through the personal essays I submitted. The last thing I expected was a reply, but a reply was what I got. I have no idea if it was the stellar recommendations (I assume it's stellar because they are wonderful teachers) or my essays (I'm going with the recommendations because I don't think my essays were that good) but I was shortlisted for an interview. And now, I just await a reply which will come on 15th May.

Ever since I got accepted by SMU Law, the only thing people ask me is if I will take that over Yale-NUS. My answer is no, I wouldn't. I know it's a big risk to go to a college that is in its first year, because my batch would be the guinea pig batch, but I also know that the experiences and opportunities I would have at YNC would be unrivalled at SMU. I'm insanely honoured to be accepted at SMU Law, I really am, but truth is, my entire life, all I've ever wanted to do was go to a university, and for some odd reason, I just feel that the YNC experience would fit what I've always wanted in a university. Also, sometimes, we just have to have faith and take a risk.

But these are all suppositions, because nothing is for certain until 15th May, when I will know for sure if YNC wants me or not. For now, I'm just going to kick back, relax, and watch Grimm. ;)